I don't really know why, but I just don't feel like doing some of my cosplays I planned..
I guess the ugliest part about it is, that I just don't have enough time to do it properly and after canceling/not finishing some cosplays I don't want to begin any more stuff I can't finish before the con starts.
So my plans changed a bit.
For the Soul Eater Shooting next week I'll still do the new Marie-Cosplay, even if I'm not really in the mood, but whatever, I guess we'll have fun, and because I take most of the pictures.. yeah.. whatever.. *sigh* I'm not that pretty.. not ugly, but not really pretty either. I try to be, but on most pictures I still look like shit, but I love cosplay, I love the characters I do, and I won't stop, even if I don't have great pictures like the other people I watch. The main cause I don't upload much is not because the pictures look crappy, but I do.. so yeah.. Often the costume looks crappy too, because my body does and I guess it's better to wait a bit with all the stuff, til I think it's ok to look shitty again.. at least a bit.
I'm kind of attention whore anyway (I could get more POSITIVE attention then anyone, I still wouldn't be satisfied.. fucking damn envy.. something I have in common with Loli), this Journal-entry again, talking about looking not good and everything, but if I compare myself to others it's just reality. I know, comparing cosplayers to each other isn't really a good thing, but somehow I just do it.
Whatever, I'm back to my Bleach-roots, doing a cosplay on Animagic-Friday I wanted to do since about.. 2 years or something.
The white outfit Orihime wears on this chapter-cover on the white pillows with ichigo, renji and rukia, with the violett sky and orange moon..
And there the problem again starts: I can finish the cosplay, bonuspoint, problem: the skirt is so damn short again, but it's not like I ever cared about it in my cosplays I did til now, and because I really lost some weight again I still have some hopes. I'll just do it.. and yeah.. nothing will change? I guess I have not really a choice, except I really turn cosplay down. But I just don't want to.. For this cosplay I'll dye my hair, just because I want this colour anyway..
And for Animagic Saturday and Sunday.. Loli.. yet again.
And again I'll do a lot of stuff new, hope I learned a bit out of the mistakes of the two old ones.. I just want to do her again.. someday without any mistakes, I guess too much of my heart sticks to this cosplay. For Saturday I have a little group, for about half of sunday I even have a Menoli. Hope for some Grimmjow, too <3 And Orihime.. (kinda stupid I cosplay her just the day before)

And for next year.. Lolis released form, I have to do it. It's, beside the group-cosplays, the only other cosplay I won't turn down, til it's finished.
But enough of me writing this stuff. Hope my mood will turn out a bit better til Animagic.. til my Exams are over.. just needed some place to write this down. I'm not in the mood for using livejournal right now.. and attention for this.. I'll still have to wait again, like.. yeah.. most of the time.. but I don't comment others often, so what do I expect?
It's just again my own fault anyway.. every time I begin to understand it, it's a bit.. yeah.. saddening.. just for being so dumb.